Mujeres y hombres y viceversa

Mujeres y hombres y viceversa (Women and men and viceversa) is a typical Spanish day-time dating programme, and actually, it is not that bad. Great Siesta entertainment if you ask me (unfortunately I don’t get to see it often, only on Fridays when I can get home a bit early).

Basically, there is a main character (every show there are two guys and two girls) who everyday has two dates with contestants from the opposite sex, chosen from a pool of about 16 overly attractive human beings. After these dates - which tend to be extremely embarrassing for both due to the absolute lack of conversational power - the main person who chooses the dates has to send somebody home (amongst the shouting of the crowd and – strangely – after the advice of a ‘professional dating panel’). Amazingly - for reasons only known to the production team - another beautiful person replaces this outcast so that it can take months until the main character chooses the love of his life.

So, why am I telling you all this? Well, firstly because Carmen and I analyze these dates in depth – slashing out towards the contestants with a mixture of disdain (what a bunch of idiots, how can you base a first ten minute date on the question 'do you like skinny-dipping?') and absolute envy (why aren't we so pretty?).

And secondly, because we actually appeared on it! Yes, after months of amusement we bumped into one of these dates (usually held in exotic nightclubs, horse-tracks, weird spa's and child amusement parks - do people actually do this?) in the famous Flamenco Bar 'Casa Patas' where we were buying tickets for a Flamenco song and dance show to be watched by our Dutch friends Alon and Yaël (the show was later to be branded as 'one of the most boring things I have ever seen, comfortably beating a musical I once saw about a bloodthirsty Australian medic' by the enthusiastic Alon).

If you look closely at the video you will see a group of four standing behind the guy (named Efrén, what kind of name is that?). First, check out the photo above so you will be able to localize us on screen, you will see Carmen peeking behind the beam, holding a white bag, but hardly holding her nerve on national television. We were both overly and childishly exited. I can be seen from the back - my best side - in a white t-shirt slightly to the right of her. Alon and Yaël are hidden somewhere between us.

The date itself – between Efrén and a Seville dressed Soroya – itself wasn't too bad. Here is what the website has to say about it when comparing it to the other date of the day:

Dos formas distintas de conquistar

Soraya y Dulce han tenido su primera cita con Efrén y las dos se han volcado intentando conquistar al tronista. Sin embargo han utilizado estrategias muy distintas. Soraya se ha mostrado muy cariñosa y ha preparado una romántica cena donde poder encontrar alguna afinidad con Efrén. Dulce ha sido más atrevida y ha llevado a su chico directamente al agua. Entre sidra y piropos han podido empezar a conocerse.

Two different forms of conquering

Soraya and Dulce (Sweetness) have had their first date with Efrén and both of them have tried to win over their man. However, they used two very different strategies. Soroya showed to be very sweet and had prepared a romantic dinner where she hoped to find some affinity with Efrén. Dulce was more straight-forward and took her boy directly into the water. Between cider (hmm, I didn’t quite get that translation) and flattering comments they were able to get to know each other.

So, on this particular date, Soroya showed her ‘sweet side’ (i.e was boring and didn’t say anything of importance except ‘you are very handsome’ and ‘yes, I smoke, its my only sin’ – upon which, by the way, Efrén said that his ideal woman didn’t smoke, bummer) whilst Efrén’s only sentence bearing any type of significance was that the perfect girl should always be able to impress his mum (incidentally, he rapidly added that he thought Soroya would do just that – how he came to this swift conclusion remained, as ever, unclear).

To compare, watch the other date at some kind of swimming pool. Efrén confesses that he doesn’t like ‘the typical artificial woman with lots of make-up, operated and who spends all her time watching herself in the mirror’. No, Efrén prefers – like most of the contestants oddly enough – the inner person (why, oh why, do they always say that?). Two questions arise from this confession: ‘what the hell is Efrén doing there?’ and ‘is an artificial woman therefore typical?’. Hmm, I don’t think Efrén knows the answer but it would be a good question for the next date. I can’t wait; meanwhile Carmen and I will now prowl through the city for more dates to surprise, the casino perhaps?