The dilemma

I was reading the beginning chapters of The Shadow of the Wind when the doorbell rang. Carmen had already left to work and I wasn’t prepared to get up from bed and open it. I wasn’t expecting anybody so it was either the postman trying to enter the corala downstairs or the two ladies who I met three weeks earlier trying to convert me into some sort of catholic paradise believer (I – in turn – tried to convince them that I didn’t speak Spanish, upon which they gave me a paper explaining everything in English). Neither option tempted me to push the cream colored button letting them in so I continued reading.

I made it through a passage where Daniel – the main character – enters the Library of Forgotten Books for a second time where he – soaking wet from walking through the rain – notices that the door handle of the Library resembles the devil. This image both exited and scared me, oddly preparing me for what was going to come.


A burly knock on the door woke me up from my book which is set in Barcelona. I heard instantly that it had been a man’s knock and a strong one too. Who could it be? Surely not the two catholic ladies. Curious, but hesitant, I put down the book at the foot end of the bed and made my way through the living room to the entrance.


Just before unlocking the door I could make out that the stranger standing in front of my house was tall. I could see his dark silhouette through the rather transparent pink door window curtain. As I touched the gold handle a chill went through my body, one that makes you shiver all the way through. A quick swing of the door and the stranger was revealed: Gecko.


He had the same expression on his face as eight days ago when I first met – and last saw – this peculiar gentleman. Upon seeing the target of my chase questions shot to my head. How did he find me? What is he doing here? Where is his brown leather brief case? Is he going to give me the contract? Is that a small cut above his left eyebrow? Will he be disappointed that I opened the door in my pajamas?


We stood face-to-face a few seconds and all of a sudden I had the urge to offer him a cigarette because this seemed the time and the man to do so. I have never smoked so this was out of the question. I noticed that he was wearing the same suit but had changed his shirt and tie (matching grey and white). Unable to speak I nodded my head offering him to come in. In turn – also without speaking – he nodded a ‘no’. He had no interest in entering our flat. Instead he reached for the inner pocket of his blue chalk-lined jacket. He took out two envelopes and handed them to me. As I took them from him I fixed my eyes on the crisp white envelops. I could feel that both of them had maybe two A-4 sized papers (no more) inside. As I looked back up to finally ask my first question to Gecko he had disappeared. Gone, probably down the stairs, and onto Calle Tribulete. Of course.


I stood in the door opening holding the envelopes. My Latin neighbour walked past and cheerfully greeted ‘hola’. Only too conscious of my appearance I replied with ‘ja’ and turned back into the flat. Again I had been impressed by Gecko who seemed to use ‘shock-and-awe’ as his personal style of communication. Still dazed by our short and silent meeting I placed the envelopes on our dinner table which was – besides the three small Italian cups (a present to Carmen from my mother) and two vinegar and oil bottles – totally clear and sat down in front of them. Only then did a notice that – on the front – both of them had something written on them. The left one read MADRID and the right one BRUSSELS.
In these moments I do not stare and appreciate the moment, I am too curious for that. I opened the left envelope in a second. It basically had a similar job description in it as the one I had read eight days earlier on Gecko’s lap. This was however an intern position at an international consultancy where I would be responsible for the creation of project teams as well as designing projects myself after a learning period of a couple of months. Another task would be helping the consultancy get the project proposals to the European Union in order. I would only be paid a small amount of compensation money. It seemed perfect. In the evenings I could follow teaching English class and the rest of the day start my career right here in Madrid, where I am enjoying myself immensely.


I laid the papers down to the left of the three Italian cups. I turned to the second envelop which had BRUSSELS written on it. Again, it was a job description, this time for an international consultancy in the capital of Belgium, the capital of Europe. The work would be quite similar to the Madrid proposal, although I would be paid a bit better and there would be a good option of being contracted after the initial six months. Also being in Brussels could be very good for that favorite word amongst beginners: networking. However, I would have to leave Carmen and the flat we have just moved to behind.


So, that’s it. Gecko has given me two choices to think about. Two jobs, two cities. This past weekend Carmen and I have been thinking about it. By the end of the week we shall know, we shall have made a decision. You can still influence the outcome if you post your opinion on this weblog. I’ll keep you all updated.